Here’s Why Corona Virus is Mad at You
I have been roaming around the world for half a year now and among several pale faces, collapsing hearts and trembling bodies, who it is only your ‘Heedless Hasmukh’ that has annoyed me the most.
Hasmukh who you ask?!
For starters, the same man who enters the lift without a mask. And as he stands in your proximity, he looks at you as if he would release a snort-y sneeze at any moment. If you haven’t had the misfortune of meeting him there, he must have caught you at the market - touching every piece of tomato that you intended to buy but then decided to do without.
Still not familiar?
Well, he comes with more symptoms than I do! You might recognise him as the new trendsetter who has shown us different ways of wearing a mask: as a bracelet, bandana, necklace or anything except carrying that boring mask-over-the-nose look! The one who’d use ounces of sanitizer if it’s not his own and rely on Arogya Setu just like those who bank upon mainstream media to form opinions!
By the way, he recently went on a trip with his folks (too smart for his own good, I know), and sitting next to each other these self-proclaimed experts had a debate sesh over why ‘Kangana’s security’…erm sorry…‘social distancing’ is important! Then he went on to share that unwanted gyaan with us by sh*tting all over our timelines with#HashmukhKeVichaar #ThoughtsOfHashmukh!
If his mistimed enthusiasm was annoying, wait till you witness his confidence! Shaking hands, leaning wherever he finds a surface or circulating “remedies” to treat me through Whatsapp University…ugh, Stopppit Hashmukh! As you fearlessly go about disrespecting the ‘new normal’ that I have ‘gifted’ you, you’re getting on my radar!
Your home, Covidiot, your home is your one-stop solution for now and this shouldn’t be very difficult for you looking at the history of suppressed species that you come from! Now show some respect to your guest; wrap your mouth with a mask and sit at home playing ping pong between emails and dishes.
Sincerely here-to-stay,
Corona
Illustration Credits: Yash Danak
